Be the Wind

Carla's basketball career came to an end this past Thursday night when her high school team lost a regional quarter final playoff game. She has been playing since fourth grade. The circumstances surrounding this last game were absolutely crushing. I'll not go into detail but it involves the power and influence that a high school coach has.

Carla's last game was an icon that represented her entire high school basketball career with the exception of playing under the varsity coach in ninth grade. If I could draw a picture of what someone getting their soul ripped from their body looks like, you'd begin to get an idea.

As a professional in the workplace, I was a manager for too many years. Looking back at Carla's career I can't help but to see the employee who has a bit of a wild side, who is a little different, who has the heart of a lion, one whose above average talent fluctuates between the surface and just beneath the surface, one who brims with the intangibles that make a difference and one who desperately needs to be understood.

Unfortunately, Carla didn't have the on-court-talent to neutralize the coach. She needed his fairness, support, encouragement, faith, respect and guidance when she needed guiding---guiding that is with dignity and respect. Some adults demand to be respected. Others get respect by being respectful. You can do the math here.

If you are a coach or manager don't be a crushing, soul-depleting downdraft on the wings of your players or coworkers. Instead, work from a position of support and understanding, instead, Be the Wind.

Update: as I was publishing this post, Simon and Garfunkel were singing Bridge over Troubled Water. Nothing in this Universe is random, nothing.

Comments

[Steve Sherlock]

Indeed, that brings back memories of a bad coach I had back in the days. I had one good one for Frosh, Soph and Junior years in high school then he got an opportunity to move to another school. Good for him. We got a new guy, fresh from college. His idea of practice was to pick the four best to play with him against the next five. Right.

Long story short, I switched from basketball to track and never regretted it.

The coaching makes a difference and it is not unlike the work place. What was that stat that someone doesn't leave a job because of the company but because of their manager?

I also agree nothing is random. Hopefully Carla will hear a new song, get over this incident, and achieve the great things she is capable of.

[Debra Estep]

Dave,

I totally get this. Kevin quit playing little league a couple of years ago around the age of 10. He said that he just could not take the constant yelling from his coach.

I'm sorry for Carla, but
it's a damn good thing her Dad and Mom get her !!

[dave]

Thanks Steve. Looks like that running stuff has been a staple in your life.

Good for Kevin Deb. I was intentionally diplomatic with my language here but, I can't quite get this one particular vision out of my head. It played over so many times -- at a time-out the coach would have the girls in a circle and he would point his finger at Carla as the other girls seem to back away while Carla seemed to stand out, like on an island, and he would scream at her. He also did this to a few other girls but not all and with the exception of one other girl, not as many times as he did with Carla.

[dave]

Ya'll might wonder why we just didn't take Carla out of this program. Carla wanted to play basketball and didn't want to leave her friends and this school. She is a tough, hard and competitive kid who has a huge heart. I just hope that we were able to offer enough support (along with some other awfully caring parents in the program) to get her through all of this without any long term repercussions.