Rothacker Reviews

Awe

The song Independence Day is one of Martina McBride's signature hits. Pat Benetar joins Martina in this rendition. Watch Martina watch Pat.

  

Where Are You Going?

I came upon a child of God, he was walking along the road and I asked him "tell me where are you going...?

He looked at me and said, "I'm tired man. I've been walking for two hundred thirty five years. It started with the Revolution, the one in 1812, the Civil one - which wasn't, a Spanish one, a WW I one, a WW II one, one in Korea, a Vietnam one, one in the Persian Gulf, an Iraq one and the one in Afghanistan."

He let out a breath and said, "You know man, we've fought hard to keep this great country free and we're still fighting and we'll always fight with those from foreign shores who threaten our way of life. But I'm tired man, I'm tired of the fighting that's goin' on inside our borders. I'm talkin' bout domestic violence man. It's gotta stop man."

I asked him, "how can we do that brother?"

He said, "You know, there's all kind of domestic violence man. But if you're askin' me, I think it starts by respecting our mothers. If we do, then as we grow we'll learn to respect women. The more a boy sees a man respect a woman, the more he'll respect women. When you start to think about what women go through...ah man, don't even get me started goin' down that road. Women are to be respected. My dad taught me that and now I'm tellin' you."

"Where are you going," I asked.

He lowered his cowboy hat and said, "I'm walkin' over there to that meadow. I'm gonna kick back, close my eyes and imagine Jimi Hendrix kick out the Star Spangled Banner and then I'm gonna thank God that I live in America and I'm gonna thank Him for my brothers-n-sisters who are overseas fightin' for us. Then man, I'm gonna go home and hug my mom and then I'm gonna thank God for my mom."

He started off and then turned back, "where are you going brother?"

"You know man, I'm gonna just hang out here a bit. I'm gonna thank God for all three of my girls and then I'm gonna thank Him for those on American soil who are fighting the war against domestic violence."

 

 

Is it ever too late to find your path?

Find a way to change today. Don't leave your family alone.

 

Heart Trumps Logic

Logic said not to spend.

How does one repair a broken heart? How does one help bridge the ravine of poor decisions? How does one help to illuminate the road ahead?

One pretty much cannot do all of the above. One can tend to the heart. But sometimes a heart to heart isn't the answer. Sometimes it takes shelling out a few dollars for a little fur ball. Sometimes another life to care for leads to the perspective to care for your own.

Sometimes we arrive at conclusions by taking the logic express. Usually these are the times when our right-mindedness overpowers our ability to be empathetic. Open your heart, allow your mind to follow.

Those who jump to conclusions of logic, don't always realize that others are knocking at their heart's door...others who offer respite from the hamster wheel world of getting in over one's head. Open your mind and allow others to warm your heart from the coldness of too much.

World meet Isabella.

Isabella meet the world.

Standing out in a Sea of Sameness

Congratulations! You are a graduating member of the high school class of 2010. You are now starting your freshman year of college. You think about your friends, brothers and sisters who graduated college and are out there trying to make a go of it in today's job market - for about one millisecond. You can't worry about that now, you got more important things to do.

If you were to ask your sister if she could go back and start college all over, would she do anything different? Okay, I know, you wouldn't ask her. You got more important things to do... But just humor me, let's pretend, okay?  Hey, it's not like I'm asking you to go and ask your mom or anything :-)

Hey! You know what? I got an idea! Let's ask some of Penelope's friends. Penelope is one cool girl who has amazing insight into today's workplace. I met her a couple of years ago but I've been following her for a decade or so, since she was a columnist for Business 2.0, a magazine that is no longer. Today, Penelope is Chief Evangelist and Co-Founder of Brazen Careerist.

Anyhow, one of the things that I've discovered at Brazen Careerist is that it is packed with twenty and thirty-something year-olds who care about their family, friends, associates, themselves and the world they live in today. They want more out of their life and career, and they're trying like all get out to get it. By the way, I'm going to also ask some friends of friends, so it's likley we might get folks who do not belong to Brazen Careerist (NOTE to you guys! Check out Brazen Careerist!!). Let's ask my friends:

Knowing what you do about today's job market; if you could go back and start college all over again, what would you do different?

I started up a Facebook page titled Standing out in a Sea of Sameness to carry on a discussion there. If you'd rather answer over there that's cool. Standing out in a Sea of Sameness @ Facebook.

Stolen Innocence

Stolen Innocence by Elaine Carole

Her eyes sparkle, her smile glows and her confidence beams - twenty-first century businesswoman. Devoted mom, devoted daughter and devoted teen advocate. Elaine Carole has a message for teenagers. It can save years of torment and pain. Elaine knows. She endured that torment and pain herself. If only someone could have been there for her...

 
Stolen Innocence is Elaine's personal chronicle of the sexual abuse and terror that she suffered during ten years of childhood. It was Elaine's stepfather who with each visit to her bedroom, stole the innocence of her youth. 

By nature, Elaine is a strong woman. When the abuse stops she moves on with her life. Although no doubt tortured on the inside, she goes about the business of being a daughter, a mom and a provider. No one on the planet, not even her mom, knows the evil that she endured. No one knows that is, until Sergeant Chris Long comes along and her story begins to slowly unravel.

The monster, for her stepfather could no longer be regarded as anything but, is suspected of molesting children in his neighborhood. Sergeant Long contacts Elaine's mom in regards to her now ex-husband. When Elaine hears what he is suspected of doing, her head pounds and her mind numbs. There is no way in the world that she wants to go down this road. For Heaven's sake, her mom, her best friend, still doesn't know!

The reason that Elaine eventually does come forward (you'll have to read the book), is in my opinion, partly responsible for her life's work today. Elaine has a daytime job, but I suspect if you ask her, her life's work is slightly different.

Rosemary and I had the privilege of sitting down to talk with Elaine. When our conversation ended, Rosemary walked up to Elaine, hugged her and said, "You are an incredible woman Elaine!" I'll add remarkable. Pick up a copy of Stolen Innocence today and find out why for yourself.

Elaine is donating a portion of the proceeds of her book to the Pinellas County Victim Rights Coalition.

Really cool inside bit of info that we personally got from Elaine that you might touch on as you read the book but knowing in advance you'll appreciate even that much more: Sergeant Chris Long is a very, very good policeman (and now detective) and a stand up, caring human being.

Ordinarily I don't mention Amazon.com book reviews of books that I review. But the one and only negative review of Stolen Innocence sends up a red flag. An English professor might take exception with parts of Elaine's work. Her story however, is so compelling and powerful, criticism of this nature slips into the background and fades irrelevant.

Rape and When a Child Cries

The other kids clear the classroom. She turns to follow and then stops. The demons inside push her towards the door. She fights. She quivers. And then she pushes herself towards the teacher and the guest speaker. Her brain feels like it's going to explode as she begins to sob. The moment she opens her mouth, she knows her life will never be the same. But will it ever be better?

"I was raped..."

I wrote the other day about Linda Hurtado's video interview of Elaine Carole. At one point in the interview, Elaine is talking to a high school class about sexual violence and rape. She encourages the kids to ask for help if they are a victim. Following the talk, a young lady approaches Elaine and the teacher (the paragraph above is a characterization based solely upon my imagination). Her tears of pain and the sobbing hurt however, were real, very real. And I can't get her pain and emotion out of my mind. It hurts me.

Since ABC Action News aired their first segment on domestic violence in April of 2009, I've spent time researching both domestic violence and rape online. The amount of news and information is staggering! With so much of it out there, you wonder why it doesn't come up in everyday conversation more. You know though. It's a highly sensitive subject. You're not about to tell your fellow worker about a rape in the family the way you would tell them about the play your kid is in. Domestic violence and rape are engulfed in taboo.

I believe when a normal, caring adult hears and feels the pain and emotion in the sobbing of a victim of sexual violence, it will begin to break down the walls of ignorance and indifference. As normal, caring adults however, we need to make it easy for kids to approach us. We need to develop a sense of awareness.

Here is a link to Pandora's Project and a list of essays and articles on sexual violence and rape. Spend some time and increase your awareness. Don't let young adults and children suffer from sexual abuse.

Here is the National Domestic Violence Hotline phone number to call for help: 1-800-799-7233

If you're in Florida call the this number (or you can call the number above as well): 1-800-500-1119

A Child's Plea for Help

"I am being raped every day. Can you help me?"

If you're like most normal human beings, you'd move mountains to help the child who came to you with this question. Intuitively you'd know: I don't have to be a doctor, therapist or social worker to help here. I can spend five minutes on Google and find a local agency to help.

You'd make the call and feel really good about what you did.

You know what the problem here is? Most kids who are the victims of sexual violence are either afraid to ask for help or don't know who to ask. Can you imagine being trapped in this vicious prison?

Elaine Carole knows.

ABC Action News team member Linda Hurtado tells Elaine's story in this segment from ABC Action News' recent prime time special Taking Action Against Domestic Violence.

So, if kids are not asking for help, how can we help them? Watch the ABC Action News story (linked to above) and check out the resources and links on this ABC Action News' Web page.

With a little education and information we can learn to recognize signs of abuse and make it easier for a child to reach out for help.

From the Florida Department of Children & Families here is the statewide number to call for help: 1-800-500-1119

For more on Elaine Carole and her book Stolen Innocence visit her Web site here.

Lizzie's Sister Leslie

Hi, my name is Leslie. I'm Lizzie's sister. Lizzie still lives across the country with our Mom. She still goes to school and still works with the ladies in the kitchen. Lizzie is as tender and caring of a human being as God has ever put on this Earth. Lizzie would give a person in need the shirt off of her back. In fact, one time she did just that. Mom tried to explain that girls weren't supposed to walk about wearing only their bras. Lizzie's didn't understand. Mom chalked it up to one of those precious Lizzie moments.

I work as a designer for a graphic arts firm on the east coast. My life hits the accelerator the minute I get up in the morning and doesn't let up until my head hits my pillow every night. Days blur into nights that blur into days that blur into weeks that blur into memories that I can only remember by looking back on my Facebook page. I don't call Mom as much as I should and I call Lizzie less. I love them with all of my heart but life seems to be getting in the way. 

Mom called yesterday to let me know that Lizzie's best friend moved away. Sam, who had practically grown up with Lizzie, has all of his chromos. Sam would play with Lizzie and bring her chocolate candy and talk with her and protect her from imaginary demons and tell her her clothes didn't match and take her shopping. Although they are both thirty-two years old, when they are together they are nine. No one, including our own Mom, is more protective of Lizzie. Sam's company relocated to another state. He had to go. Lizzie was crushed.

I could feel her pain a thousand miles away. I want to take her into my arms and comfort her. I want to brush her hair back and let her cry on my shoulder. I want to take her pain away. The thing is, I'll call Lizzie and she'll be happy to hear from me. She won't say anything about how long it's been since we talked or how long it's been since I sent her a card. She'll forget about Sam and put all of her concentration on me. Who will be comforting who?

Some of us are chosen to help others...even though life has been placed in our way, even though mental challenges have been placed in our way. Sometimes we need a friendly nudge to move forward. Sometimes all it takes is a phone call to get us moving. Sometimes it's the right thing to do.

Be the Wind

Carla's basketball career came to an end this past Thursday night when her high school team lost a regional quarter final playoff game. She has been playing since fourth grade. The circumstances surrounding this last game were absolutely crushing. I'll not go into detail but it involves the power and influence that a high school coach has.

Carla's last game was an icon that represented her entire high school basketball career with the exception of playing under the varsity coach in ninth grade. If I could draw a picture of what someone getting their soul ripped from their body looks like, you'd begin to get an idea.

As a professional in the workplace, I was a manager for too many years. Looking back at Carla's career I can't help but to see the employee who has a bit of a wild side, who is a little different, who has the heart of a lion, one whose above average talent fluctuates between the surface and just beneath the surface, one who brims with the intangibles that make a difference and one who desperately needs to be understood.

Unfortunately, Carla didn't have the on-court-talent to neutralize the coach. She needed his fairness, support, encouragement, faith, respect and guidance when she needed guiding---guiding that is with dignity and respect. Some adults demand to be respected. Others get respect by being respectful. You can do the math here.

If you are a coach or manager don't be a crushing, soul-depleting downdraft on the wings of your players or coworkers. Instead, work from a position of support and understanding, instead, Be the Wind.

Update: as I was publishing this post, Simon and Garfunkel were singing Bridge over Troubled Water. Nothing in this Universe is random, nothing.