Tide Away

"Tide-away Dad, duh"

So it's early on Saturday morning and I am taking Carla to USF to play in a high school basketball tournament this past weekend.  As my coffee level is one cup short, I pull into a Mickey Dees to refuel.

"Daaaaaad," Carla cries, moans and pleads at the same time, "We're going to be late."

Actually we're about ten minutes ahead of schedule.  Daughter number one was sixteen, eleven years ago. I could've sworn the ants had left her pants by that time.  Daughter number two, Carla, has built up the infrastructure and made community improvements in her drawers.  The ants aren't going anywhere soon.

Two minutes out of Mickey Dees and I now have a coffee stain on my white shorts the size of a softball.  Oh well, whatta ya going to do?  I'm going to a basketball game, who cares?

"Daaaaaad, you aren't not going anywhere in those shorts!!"

Actually, embarrassing our children in public is something that Rosemary and I live for.  Now I am definitely feeling pretty good about the situation.

"Carla, what to you want me to do?"

At this point though, I know I'm at the kid's mercy.  She can be like a dog that won't let go of its bone.  She will absolutely hammer on me until I concede.  Note to self: Groom Carla Ziglar to be a saleswoman.

"Tide-away Dad!  Duh!!"

I look at her in absolute bewilderment.  I figure she is talking to me in code.  She thinks I'm one of her female friends who talk faster with their thumbs and a phone keyboard.

"Oh dear God, Dad!  Tide-away, you know the stuff you put on stains."

Actually I didn't know. 

"Ok, we'll stop at the grocery store and we'll be on our way."

The ants began to elevate Carla off of her seat.

"Ok relax, I'm just kidding."

I drop her off at USF, then I go to the grocery store.

The stuff worked great and I didn't get to embarrass daughter number two.

The stuff is really called Tide to Go.  Besides having fun with Carla, this truly was a learning experience for me.  I had no idea there was something that looked like a magic marker that you could just rub on your clothes and get rid of stains.  Now everyone at work is going to think I started using a bib at lunch.