Mothers

While I was sleeping, life happened.

I am simultaneously reading The World is Flat by Thomas L. Friedman and Grace (Eventually) by Anne Lamott.  I read this quote by Rick Klausner in Tom's book this morning: "The most important health-care system in the world is a mother."  This quote kicked up a wind out in the Atlantic Ocean of my gut.  By the time I got to Anne's chapter about her mother titled Cheese Love, the storm had screamed into the warm waters of the Gulf of Mexico of my soul and raged on as a level five hurricane.

Me. Me. Me.  For the past twelve years or so I have been hell bent on trying to figure out what I want to be when I grow up.  I quit writing online about my work and transitioned into a more general view of marketing, business culture and leadership five years ago.  Like a small piece of metal I found myself attracted to the magnetism of certain business books and business folks I met online.  They spoke of things I didn't have.  And I found myself excited enough to speak of them.  My plan, which was one step below a blind squirrel looking for a nut, was to write and network myself into something that I was passionate about and could do for a living.  The problem with my plan was that I was a horse running in circles around a track with blinders on and no clue of where the finish line was.  I have been asleep for the past twelve years.

I really do get excited about the business folks out there today leading the revolution for change.  But this excitement is like giving that horse some prime food.  It only helps him to run in circles longer.  There has been something however, that I have been excited about for over thirty-two years.  Unlike my sleep induced world of fantasy, this something is stone cold real.   And every evening, my excitement was fueled with the dry, seasoned logs of cherry wood stories.

Rosemary, (my wife) told the stories.  Before venturing down the path of choice here, I want to briefly describe the other one. Rosemary and I both began new careers after working ten years in an other.  She started at a bank working as a teller.  She had a burning desire to be the bank's manager.  Her journey was one of extreme intrigue to me.  I looked forward everyday to hear how hers went.  She fought an unbelievable war, with one individual holding her back three or four years.  Eventually she became a bank manager...and the stories got better.  I have paid into social security for thirty-five years. Twenty-eight or so as a manager.  I have read a few books on management along the way.  I have networked with brilliant business coaches. Rosemary is the best manager I have ever seen in my life.  (Her branch's performance backs it up).  She has read exactly one book on management (the one that says you can do the whole management gig in a minute) and has never been to college.  I would sit in awe at night listening to her stories.  She intuitively did what I had studied for years and still can't come close to doing.  Her methods were text book and had the emotional intelligence thing going when Dan Goleman's book was still in draft. 

I am going to save my journey down the other fork in the road for my next post.  But before I do I'll just catch you up to what Rosemary is doing now.  We moved to Florida two years ago when her bank offered her the opportunity to open up a loan origination in Tampa.  One year later her company closed down the entire division, nationwide.  She hooked up with another company and worked for one of the worst managers we've ever encountered.  To be honest, her desire to continue with this line of work ceased when her father died last September.  At the time she wondered how her mother's life would be.  Would she meet another man? This thought propelled her into a seven month period where she wrote three complete novels.  Now I'm not talking about losing herself in writing.  She has immersed herself into this world with the utmost of professionalism, joining a writer's association, taking a class, reading magazines and devouring my books on writing and those that pertain to her genre.  To say I was jealous watching her fondle my writing books is a serious understatement.  Now in all honesty, Rosemary didn't just fall off the bus and start to write (close though).  She has notebooks filled with poetry that she wrote throughout her teens and has NEVER been without reading a book-in-progress since she was eleven.  She is also an expert at crossword puzzles.  When she reached the point of not being able to find hard enough puzzles, she started to time herself.  So her challenge now is how fast she can complete the crossword puzzles written for experts.

I can see where you might come to the conclusion here after reading my dribble that I am just a doting husband.  And you're right.  But, and you're going to have to trust me on this, I am being an objective, doting husband.  To conclude my doting and to go officially on record, Rosemary is a brilliant writer.  Her dialog flows and her use of descriptive narrative is very good.  Once you begin, you do not want to put her book down...and I do not even like her genre.  If her determination to earn a good living as an author is even half of what it was to be a bank manager, you are going to hear of her one day.  And remember, in all her years as a manager she only read one book.  Can you even possibly begin to imagine her future following a period of this intense dedication to improve her craft?

The mother stuff is coming in the next post.  It's even better.

Comments

[Rosa Say]

Well Dave I hope that next post will be today, maybe even before I finish writing this comment! Goodness, you can't say, "this something is stone cold real" and then not tell us what "this" is!

Hurry up, would you? I'll be waiting for my feed reader to bring me back here...

P.S. I do agree that Rosemary is intuitively brilliant.

[scottie]

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[jesica]

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[Chris Brown]

Wow. I've got to check back soon to read the next installment.

Also, I wouldn't characterized exploring as "I was a horse running in circles around a track with blinders on and no clue of where the finish line was.

You know that part at the end of Julia Cameron's book the Artist Way? Where she talks about working your way up the mountain? You spiral up, it might seem like you are crossing over the same area, but it's at a different level with a different lense... a reflection of the new info you've taken in since the last time you were there. I think you're too hard on yourself & seem to judge your career evolution like it should be a straight shot instead of a meandering path of exploration...

anyway, I'll be checking back soon to find out more about "mother stuff"

[dave]

Rosa - I actually responded to your comment on the 4th, but must not have hit Post :(

Jesica - Thanks for stopping by. I need to write a separate post on your reply. I think I can help.

Hi Chris - you describe the journey. one cannot possibly take a step ahead if one hasn't already taken two behind. Thank you so much! I get it.

Actually, there are a few separate Dave's in my body. One has unwaivering faith that I will become successful in something that I love to do. I have felt this way as long as I can remember. Another is a whiney, pissy and moanie boy (as evidenced above). This one really irritates Rosemary. Another is very cognizant of working my way up the mountain.

[Verna Wilder]

Great post, Dave! What energy and passion and enthusiasm. OK, now I'm ready for the nexst installment. What's up? I want to hear the story of Dave now. Whatever it is, you're on fire, and that's wonderful.

[Debra Estep]

Having been Rosemary's sister in law for the past 30 years I can add to this post in saying that it is Rosie's very giving nature that makes her the person she is.

I am as blessed to have her in my life
as my bro is to have her as a wife. !!!