Connectors

Dwayne, author of  Genuine Curiousity, states that he'd like to develop skills as a Connector.  I am sure there are as many ways to become a connector as there are ways for a politician to deflect a straight question.  Before I tell you what works when it comes to connecting for me, I'd like to reference something that Malcolm Gladwell, author of The Tipping Point, says about Connectors.

"What makes someone a Connector?  The first-and most obvious-criterion is that Connectors know lots of people.  They are the kinds of people who know everyone."

Malcolm is personally responsible for bringing an awareness to Connectors via his insanely popular book.  I view myself as a Connector.  When I read Malcolm's first criterion here however, I don't see this person as me.  I see this person as some outwardly gregarious fellow who, at a social event, everyone gravitates towards.  You know, like some Barbie or Ken gliding effortlessly through the hall with their minions scratching and clawing each other for a closer place in line.  Me?  I'm standing against the wall, strapped in tighter than a NASCAR driver.  Well, I used to do that anyhow.  Now I just trail along behind Barbie and Ken and pick up the bodies.

"Wow!  You actually got to talk to Barbie?  I see you're wearing a Slacker Manager Rocks tee shirt.  Have you read Bren's The Secret Art of Managing Your Boss yet?  You have, eh.  What did...?

What Works For Me

I love hooking people up with other people who I think can help them...same goes for books, places and stuff.  In order to hook someone up, I must know something about them.  Now here's the easy part. I just encourage folks to talk about themselves.  For me, it's fun too because I love to hear stories.  Once you do this enough, threads of the conversation will start clicking for you.

"You know Dave, I'm having a problem organizing my management system at work.  Heck, what am I saying?  I don't even have a system.  To make matters worse, I'm very process oriented."

Well, I think it took me all of two seconds to send this person Lisa Haneberg's way.  I knew from reading Lisa's book High Impact Middle Management and hanging around her Management Craft blog, that Lisa would be a tremendous resource.

That's about it.  You don't have to be the life of the party.  You should have a genuine concern to learn about others.  And you should have a desire to help others.

Personal and Outdated

I was nineteen years old and working in a grocery store.  One day I was packing groceries for this hot cashier who I had heard just broke up with her boyfriend. 

"So, what kind of music do you like?  What else do you like?"  I was ripping off the questions.

"I like Black Sabbath and beer." 

With that intell I could now hook her up with any one of my buddies.  NOT.

"Oh Yeah?  You doing anything Saturday night?"

I made that connection thirty years ago.  It's stronger today than it ever was!

 

Comments

[Joy Des Jardins]

Wonderful post Dave. It was pretty obvious to me right away that you were a connector of people, their feelings and their ideas. It's a wonderful way to share yourself with others. I especially love the hook-up you made 30 years ago....thanks so much.

[Dave]

Hey Joy, thanks for your support!

[Rosa Say]

Now I can personally attest to this one! Dave, you are the supreme connector; I don't think there are too many in your league on this, and you are definitely the one who has inspired me to do more connecting myself.

In addition to the fascination you have with people - and that you REALLY listen when they talk to you, it's also because you are one of the most selfless, generous people I know - a true Mea Ho'okipa who innately understands the abundance that comes from aloha.

Mahalo nui for the magnificent example you set for us all. Rosa

[Dave]

Now Rosa, the keys on my keyboard are blushing :-)

Thank you!